It’s the year of the elephant…
And no, this has nothing to do with Chinese horoscopes:). This is about you and me taking on our emos! This is not a time to sit back on our laurels stagnated by fear. This is about living intentionally, no regrets, no what ifs, no buts!
After being inspired by a concept presented in Switch, I wrote my own story, The Elephant’s Little Secret. At the time, I had no idea where it would go, it was just an impulsive reaction to a concept I heard (I should probably explain). You see, I was having a bit of a ‘dreaming problem.’ You know the kind where you feel like you can’t pursue your own vision because you convinced yourself that you didn’t have enough time or money? Well, the trouble was…it wasn’t quite true and even though I could see it, I was having trouble accepting it. I had grown so accustomed to telling myself something different that even though my situation changed drastically, my mind hadn’t! And I knew it, but still, I was emotionally stuck and for the life of me, I couldn’t get myself to dream My Dream. I had NOOOOO problem dreaming for others. And if I was really honest with myself, I knew I had accomplished a lot of dreams of my own, but that didn’t seem to matter.
Adventures of Me vs. Debt
Well, there’s no use making this long story short so…here it goes:). Determined to change my debt-perception, I took Adam Baker’s course, You vs Debt. I figured that if I could download enough information to re-affirm my new life, my fears concerning My Dream in relationship to money and debt would become unglued. On the second day of the course, Baker shared the concept from Switch– ‘How to Change Things When Change is Hard’. He briefly enlightened us with this metaphor of The Elephant and The Rider and explained that our emotional side and our logical side were represented by the size and relationship of the two to each other. When he uttered those words, they immediately connected with that dark fear inside me and…SWITCH! Suddenly, I started writing in a panic. As my fingers flew across the keys frantically, I wrote my story and the self-healing began.
That’s when it started…
My tongue started to itch…and I was like ‘Dangit, I think there are nuts in this sauce Nate!’ The horror, by now I was about two spring rolls in and my stomach started to roll like a tootsie (ok sorry enough with the puns:). I called out to the waitress and was like, ‘quick, bring me some…bread.’ And I ate and ate but the pain was excruciating, so we called it a night and went home.
That evening the pain persisted, well into the night and it was awful…really bad, like stabbing pains that came through my stomach and ravaged my whole body. By now, I’m literally wanting to die, it’s too much for me to bear, so Nate pulls out Stin. She has these recorded meditations and there’s this one for sickness and rebuilding your immune system that’s quite effective. So he plays it for me and the pain becomes worse but then I start to feel something. I don’t know how to describe it, but the words must have connected to whatever was reacting to the nuts and suddenly projectiles flew across the bed. And I couldn’t stop vomiting. I think I brought up everything I ate that day and the day before if not the entire week and I felt immediate relief. It was over just like that.
The Great ‘Cubicle’ Escape
Entering Fear, Stage Right
The journey? To change fear, not simply tactics and affirmations, sure sometimes they can help, but the real deep-seated psychological barriers are going to require a little self-hacking. Sometimes, it may get ugly ’cause confession time folks…I’m intensely passionate sometimes to a fault. Writing is part of my self-healing and if leaving my heart on a page can help anyone muster up the strength and courage to follow their own, then do I really have a choice?