The Blog

The Year of the Elephant


It’s the year of the elephant…

And no, this has nothing to do with Chinese horoscopes:). This is about you and me taking on our emos! This is not a time to sit back on our laurels stagnated by fear. This is about living intentionally, no regrets, no what ifs, no buts!

After being inspired by a concept presented in Switch, I wrote my own story, The Elephant’s Little Secret.  At the time, I had no idea where it would go, it was just an impulsive reaction to a concept I heard (I should probably explain). You see, I was having a bit of a ‘dreaming problem.’ You know the kind where you feel like you can’t pursue your own vision because you convinced yourself that you didn’t have enough time or money? Well, the trouble was…it wasn’t quite true and even though I could see it, I was having trouble accepting it. I had grown so accustomed to telling myself something different that even though my situation changed drastically, my mind hadn’t! And I knew it, but still, I was emotionally stuck and for the life of me, I couldn’t get myself to dream My Dream. I had NOOOOO problem dreaming for others. And if I was really honest with myself, I knew I had accomplished a lot of dreams of my own, but that didn’t seem to matter.

Adventures of Me vs. Debt

Well, there’s no use making this long story short so…here it goes:). Determined to change my debt-perception, I took Adam Baker’s course, You vs Debt. I figured that if I could download enough information to re-affirm my new life, my fears concerning My Dream in relationship to money and debt would become unglued. On the second day of the course, Baker shared the concept from Switch– ‘How to Change Things When Change is Hard’. He briefly enlightened us with this metaphor of The Elephant and The Rider and explained that our emotional side and our logical side were represented by the size and relationship of the two to each other. When he uttered those words, they immediately connected with that dark fear inside me and…SWITCH! Suddenly, I started writing in a panic. As my fingers flew across the keys frantically, I wrote my story and the self-healing began.

The only way I can explain it is through this incident that happened to me a few months back.  I have an allergy – a nut one – almonds, walnuts, pistachios and the dreaded cashew.  So I go to this Asian restaurant (if you can call it that, it’s really pseudo-Asian – a westernized fake version of Asian cuisine, complete with sub-sized dinner rolls as appetizers?!!) Anyways, so I order these avocado spring rolls that aren’t too bad.  They came with this really sweet dipping sauce which was quite tasty.  I guess by now, you’re probably wondering what the problem is.  Well…nowhere and I mean NOWHERE on the menu did it say that the sauce had cashews in it.  My husband was smart enough to suggest inquiring, but me like a dummy seeing the light pink runny quality of the liquid thought ‘nah, it’s probably just a plum sauce,’ so I proceed to ‘dip baby dip’ like a hoochie in a 69 Boyz video.

That’s when it started…

My tongue started to itch…and I was like ‘Dangit,  I think there are nuts in this sauce Nate!’ The horror, by now I was about two spring rolls in and my stomach started to roll like a tootsie (ok sorry enough with the puns:).  I called out to the waitress and was like, ‘quick, bring me some…bread.’  And I ate and ate but the pain was excruciating, so we called it a night and went home.

That evening the pain persisted, well into the night and it was awful…really bad, like stabbing pains that came through my stomach and ravaged my whole body.  By now, I’m literally wanting to die, it’s too much for me to bear, so Nate pulls out Stin. She has these recorded meditations and there’s this one for sickness and rebuilding your immune system that’s quite effective.  So he plays it for me and the pain becomes worse but then I start to feel something. I don’t know how to describe it, but the words must have connected to whatever was reacting to the nuts and suddenly projectiles flew across the bed.  And I couldn’t stop vomiting.  I think I brought up everything I ate that day and the day before if not the entire week and I felt immediate relief.  It was over just like that.

That’s how I felt the day I wrote the story -just like that.  The concept sparked an image that connected with a limiting belief within me and that bugger projected across the room and I found my voice again.  And I knew after 10 years of waiting that I found my it!

The Great ‘Cubicle’ Escape

You see over 11 years ago, I escaped the cubicle.  Now lifestyle businesses are trendy, back then if you said you worked from home.  The response was like…”” but the looks were like, “So you don’t have a ‘real business'”.

My husband and I are copreneurs, best friends and lifetime soulmates. We see and work with each other everyday and after a decade we still love it! With the inspiration and influence of another unconventional nut like us (and I say that lovingly Chris G:)), we managed to establish a business where we’re not trading dollars for hours anymore and money is made even when we’re not working ‘in’ our business.  It’s given us freedom, flexibility and the best part is, we get to do things we love for people we love.  But even having all that, there was something missing…this was missing!  I’ve always wanted to share this way of life and help others pursue their passion in a big way but the missing element was always how.

Entering Fear, Stage Right

Though, I’m still working out those details, this is a start.  Change{Fear} is dedicated to all of you, like me, who are done with being held back by limiting beliefs. It is in honour of those who have helped me pave my way.
The journey? To change fear, not simply tactics and affirmations, sure sometimes they can help, but the real deep-seated psychological barriers are going to require a little self-hacking. Sometimes, it may get ugly ’cause confession time folks…I’m intensely passionate sometimes to a fault.  Writing is part of my self-healing and if leaving my heart on a page can help anyone muster up the strength and courage to follow their own, then do I really have a choice?
If we truly want to live our dreams and abandon fear, we needn’t dwell on questions like ‘should I or shouldn’t I?’ There’s only one answer… NOW!


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